Forgiving someone is like letting go of heavy objects you’re carrying; it helps you feel lighter and happier. When you choose to forgive, you release the burden of anger or resentment, making room for positive feelings. However, if you hold on to grudges, the pressure builds up inside you. This can lead to frustration, causing you to sigh, feel annoyed, or even lash out.
In a workplace setting, when a coworker makes a small mistake, like missing a meeting, being able to forgive them can create a more harmonious environment. It allows everyone to move forward and focus on their tasks instead of dwelling on past errors. However, a UC Riverside study has found that the more men are concerned about appearing masculine, the more likely they are to exhibit negative behaviors that impact team dynamics. This attitude can create tension among coworkers, hindering teamwork and making the work environment less effective.
What does masculinity generally appear like at work?
Masculinity at work is like when some boys or men try to act in ways that people think are “manly.” This could be by being tough, always wanting to win, or not showing feelings. In different places, this can look different, but here are a few examples:
- Being the boss: Some men might try to take charge and be in control.
- Not showing feelings: They might hide when they are sad or worried because they think it’s not “manly” to show emotions.
- Competing a lot: Some might always try to be better than others like it’s a big race.
While these behaviors might look tough, they actually have deeper impacts. The study shows that men who are focused on appearing more masculine are less likely to forgive their coworkers. For example, if a coworker accidentally misses an important meeting, these men are more likely to hold a grudge instead of forgiving them.
What’s the reason? Men who care a lot about looking tough often think that forgiveness is “girly.” This is because they see forgiveness as a weakness; they might want to get back at others or just avoid them instead. This behavior can make the workplace unhealthy and less effective. The research also found that they view men who forgive as not being real men.
This type of masculinity can also be linked to fragile and toxic masculinity. Behaviors like avoiding emotions when they’re hurt and needing to always be in control can negatively impact workplace culture.
Not all masculinity is toxic; it only becomes harmful when it affects others in a negative way. Healthy masculinity can include positive traits like strength, confidence, and the ability to express emotions appropriately. It’s the harmful behaviors that create problems for both individuals and their work environment.
There is a way to be forgiving. They just need to feel like “real men.”
It’s important to help them understand that forgiveness is not a weakness but a strength. When men see forgiveness as a positive trait that shows maturity and emotional intelligence, they’re more likely to embrace it. According to researchers, talking about situations where they feel proud or strong can help them shift their mindset.
Meanwhile, those who had challenges recalling situations in which they appeared manly became frustrated. These individuals remained to be less forgiving compared to those who successfully recalled manly memories. For instance, situations where they feel manly could include things such as helping others solve problems, winning competitions, or simply practicing kindness. Other than that
Masculinity can also manifest in women, not only in men
The struggle to say sorry and the desire to seem tough isn’t just for men; women feel it too. Some women are afraid to show they are vulnerable because they think it might cause more problems, so they choose to stay quiet. This is especially common at work, where women often feel they need to show strength and independence to avoid being seen as weak, especially as women. Because of this pressure, it can be hard for women to share their feelings or admit when they’ve made a mistake.
Conclusions
How masculinity affects workplace dynamics can really impact team bonding and effectiveness. The study shows that focusing too much on traditional masculine ideals can make it hard for someone to forgive, leading to a toxic environment where grudges build up and teamwork suffers. If we start to see forgiveness as a strength, workplaces can become more supportive and emotionally aware. Encouraging conversations about positive masculinity and empathy can lead to better teamwork and higher job satisfaction.
